Ladies, there’s a chance you won’t be able to ditch the shoes, or that ditching the shoes will actually be worse than staying in heels (running across a beach covered in toxic jellyfish, for example). Guys, you’ll also need practical footwear, but the odds of you starting out in three-inch heels are substantially slimmer. The break-in period differs from shoe to shoe, and blisters are almost as bad as twisted ankles when it comes to getting away. If you’re not already trying to survive a horror movie, buy some sensible shoes right now, and get used to wearing them. If you’re female, ditch the impractical heels that you’re almost certainly wearing and get yourself some sensible hiking or running shoes. It’s just that you’re basically marked for death.Ī: First off, dress for success. (You can also cultivate an alternate nickname, such as “John-Boy” or “The Johnster” or “Dave.”) It’s not that I dislike the name Johnny. If your name is Johnny, legal name change forms are cheap. Q: What if we just take a peek out the window?Ī: It’s your funeral. Funny for the viewing audience, not so much fun for you. Going and checking it out will inevitably lead to your horrible death. No, you should absolutely not go and check it out.
Q: I really think we should go and check it out.Ī: This proves you’re actually not thinking. Q: Should I go out there and check it out?Ī: Only if you’re looking for a quick, messy, but creative demise. It just might save you from the thing that came from outer space. While you’re at it, check out the Ten Handy Tips For Surviving A Horror Movie. Here are a few tips on how it can be achieved, if you’re smart enough to keep your head together, your ammo, close, and your friends closer. Getting out alive can look essentially impossible.
Some group of idiots reads the wrong scroll or breaks into the wrong secluded cabin in the wrong forest, and the next thing they know, they’re ass-deep in a horror film.
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